December 9, 2020

Tips for surviving your First Holiday Season Post Separation during a Pandemic

Separation is tough, it is even harder when there are children involved. The first holiday season post separation is emotional and exceedingly difficult for most families on its own. Now, this holiday season, we must add the COVID-19Pandemic to that equation. With families being forced to stay indoors and not socialize, it’s inevitable that some parents and children will feel overwhelmed as December 25th draws near.

 

Here are some quick tips on how you can help yourself and your children adjust to the “new norm” and enjoy the holiday season as much as possible:

 

Santa

Most children grow up having their yearly visits to Santa at the mall.  It wasn’t Christmas until Jolly Ole St. Nick gave them candy canes and pictures were taken. This year we don’t get to have a Mall Santa, but you can have Virtual Santa visits. A quick online search will give you a wide range of virtual Santa visits that are available for free OR a minimal cost. Especially for the younger kids, this helps them remember the spirit of the season and they get to enjoy the holidays for a bit without the worry ( and yes, they do worry) about whether mom and dad are arguing or if they’re ever going to have a “normal Christmas” again.

 

Virtual Christmas Party

Do not allow your separation to cause friction between your children and other family members.  If possible, try to arrange virtual parties/video calls for the children to see your ex’s parents/relatives and their cousins. (You need to remember what’s in the best interest of the children and make that the priority). Get their entire family involved! Let your children know that their entire family supports them, and they are not alone. Let them see how many people love them and care for them. Often, when families separate, the children feel torn between who they are “supposed to love more, Mommy’s relatives? or Daddy’s relatives?”.  Use this time to remind your children that you love them and will always be there to support them and their decisions.

 

Create New Family Traditions

Make it fun for you and your children, set a theme for every day/night/week/weekend that you have the children with you. Funny Pjs, Breakfast for Dinner, Pizza Night, Cookie Night, Games Night, Movie Night, etc.  Get your children involved, ask them for ideas on what they want to do, while reminding them to set a budget so ideas don’t get too extreme.

 

Capture the moment. Take lots of pictures/videos.

Take snaps of the goofy moments, the flour everywhere from baking, the children decorating the tree, hot chocolate on the couch for movie night, etc. Whether you upload your videos and pictures to social media is your decision but capture those memories with your children and share it with them.  Even after the holiday season, it’s the little memories that can brighten up your day and theirs.

 

Start planning for next year!

All the traditions that you started this year can lead to the children planning what they want to do next year. It’s something for them to look forward to 😊.  Don’t let it be a 1-time event for them and you.

 

Make time for yourself.

Separation is tough on an individual. You have to adjust to the new dynamics and changes in your life as well. Set aside at least 30 minutes before you get to bed, just for you.  Whether you meditate, take a long shower, read, or watch tv, just take a few minutes to self love and relax.  

 

You’ve got this! Happy Holidays!

 

This Article is meant for information purposes only and not meant to be a replacement for Legal Advice. If you have questions about any Family Law issue, please contact Kavita Ramnanan via email or on 647-625-9661.            

About the Author:

Kavita Ramnanan is an associate lawyer in Toronto at Rose Law Firm.

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